I just came across an article by Stephen Colbert in Wired magazine. He's supposed to be one of the funniest comedians who conduct the hit show The Colbert Report in Comedy Central. It is called How to be an Expert on Anything.
The article reminds me of my graduation days when we used to explore "unconventional wisdom" to see if any of them could be used to stand out in the crowd. I'm reproducing the points with my own comments, on this post. Interestingly, back in the 80's we used to apply at least some of these points to the so called well known "experts", and found them mysteriously being true.
Here are the 11 points:
Pick a field that can't be verified
This could be anything, ranging from Scientology to Scentology (I'm sure there must be something of that sort!!). My favorite, back in the 80's was "Phacology" - the art of making an impression among the pseudo socializers. Idea was simple: Just start talking calmly and patiently, with much style and panache, about an adventure, a project or a long lost theory, which none of your listeners is supposed to have any prior experience / interest. The word was derived from local slang "Phankna" meaning “throw" - you can guess what!
Choose a subject that's actually secret
This is a bit difficult and would go against the one above. In this case you really need to be smart and knowledgeable. However, you can really make the subject a part and parcel of your "Phacology"
Get your own entry in an encyclopedia
In the 80's this was not possible. However today, it is very much! Just spend a day on the Wikipedia.com site. Rest you'll realize easily.
Use the word "zeitgeist" as often as possible
However, make sure you know the actual meaning of the word. I discovered "chutzpah" and used it very often and long after realized the actual meaning was quite different than my application.
Be sure to use lots of abbreviations and acronyms
The quickest way to achieve this is to create your own. BTW (i.e. By the Way), AUS (are you sure), JLT (Just Like That), etc, have all been started like that! The best acronym vocabulary I gained by being with the IIM / Ad world / Yippee crowd. Today chats and IMs are best harvesting grounds for acronyms and abbreviations.
Speak from the balls, not from the diaphragm
Well whenever I tried this, I seem to have lost big time! But the best part of this is that my chances improved for a bigger risk next time. The thumb-rule I learnt was: "Speak from the balls; but be careful of your arse". Believe me; if you cover up your arse before speaking from the balls, you really gain a lot.... (I'm still learning...)
Don't be afraid to make things up
My profession has taught me to be an expert at doing this... sometimes with funny outcomes. However, one of the best things I observed and learned from one of my colleagues is that by pre-analyzing the situation, and expecting outcomes in advance, it is always better to make your peers and colleagues feel that you're losing. However, actually you may be planning the "lose-out" to show that you're really capable to "come back"
Don't limit yourself to current knowledge
Of course no body stops you from assuming things - positively or disastrously. I feel this is a classic way to make an impression with your bosses and peers when you have performed badly... you can always say that the visible result is a short-term loss, but a long-term gain, as you had foreseen the future!!!
Get an honorary PhD
I'm not sure whether any famous university will give you one... However, you can try getting one from "non-famous" ones, selling them the idea that by doing so, you can make them famous!!
Make a habit of name-dropping
My friend uses it a lot... you need to be very very interested in the "named" person's life. I've found it very useful to make myself look "informed", sometimes with hilarious outcome - the names I dropped and supposed to be the ones the others know, happened to be entirely different persons!!!
Be famous. It helps
You need to look at some of the developing economies and their developing leaders, to learn this. Also, I feel being famous could go hand in hand with being notorious. After all Oscar couldn't have been wrong: "One day I'll be famous. If not I'll be notorious". Therefore go ahead to get noticed - famously or infamously.
Sure, my thoughts are little on the wild side. However I feel Colbert’s is a first original unofficial attempt to document contemporary wisdom.
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