The Urgent Need for Therapy

These days, it's a common thread of discussion among most of the Expats - regardless of the direction they come from, to UAE. It could be any one of these threads:

- Did you hear "so and so" are leaving the country for good?
- You know i heard that there has bee 26000 one way departures in one week alone thru Emirates Airlines?
- I heard that your good friend and his wife lost their jobs together? What are they doing now?
- Hey, I heard that you still have not been able to get something to pull along... so what have you decided?
- Are you going to make a decision within the next 2 months? Let me know, I can get you a good price for your car...
- etc. etc.

I find that the most common undercurrent that flows among these discussions, is something to do with "How best we can capitalize on the exodus" - whether it's your friend, neighbour, sworn enemies, colleagues, professional friends, or just anybody. And more often than not, the questioner / initiator is also under some kind of pressure - either money, job, pressures etc. related to this recession.

However, it's rare to find someone who's putting in efforts in a small or big way to make a difference to the lives of the affected souls! (I'm not talking of an exceptional few who have been helping even before the crises began!).

No wonder then, that we hear of many people who have been badly shocked by the crises - some of these have been made redundant after 5-10 years of dedicated service to their companies! A few of them are so shattered that they're unable to decide whether and how to return to their respective countries. Fear, loss of confidence, depression, inferiority complex, etc. type of psychological problems haunt them every hour of their waking life.

Therefore, when one of my friends lost his job, and faced the same situation, I thought of trying to help him, and had some consoling sessions with him, his wife and children. With my limited knowledge, I could understand that this person (probably one of many others in UAE) has a terrible loss of confidence and self-respect, and needs some affordable means of urgent therapy, to even get ready for a final departure for his home country.

I'm sure there are many like him, and as such I feel majority among these Expat communities - especially from developing nations who managed /are forced to stay for a while in this country - need some kind of Psychotherapy or Psychiatric or friendly help, to cope up with the troubled times.

I'd like to invite all the readers to come up with their experiences on this forum / platform, so that we can offer similar help to the affected ones!

(By the way, I checked for some good institutions / clinics for this friend of mine; but probably regardless of their goodness they would not be able to help, since he's an Indian, and language or at least culture would matter in a big way to calm him down!
Hence would anyone of you have any suggestions for an Indian Psychiatrist / Clinical Psychologist who can help? You can write to me, replying thru this column)

How to turn around bad publicity

Recently I read a very heated set of debates triggered by Sultan Sooud al Qassemi's article in the Independent Blog as well as John B. Chilton's repost of the same in UAE Community Blog.

The article and its follow-up comments are perhaps some of the never-ending Dubai-bashing exercise some of us have been mutely observing / reading for quite a few years now! Strangely, I find that whether it was the boom time or the current bust time that Dubai is experiencing, some of the commonly accepted ills are refused to be accepted by the so called "PR-generals" of the City state!

Here are just 2 of the truncated comments posted against the main article:

A couple of months ago my husband was made redundant in Dubai. He owed his company a portion of his housing loan, but his company owed him far more in unpaid salary/redundancy/ contract etc... They refused to hand this over until he paid up. We went to the Labour Tribunal twice (holding of passports is illegal in U.A.E law), Court, Police, Human rights... At the British Embassy we were told to pay up and keep quiet... if there was a family emergency in the U.K. my husband would not be able to leave the country. ...Perhaps Dubai jails would have more people in them if Emiratis were punished properly for the crimes they commit against expats. I could mention the case of the woman wilfully run over twice by an unnamed Emirati driving a Hummer who only received 10 years, reduced to 7 on appeal for premeditated murder... ..."

- geraldine48

I lived in Dubai for many years... The bubble has certainly burst... Dubai was once a quiet, soulful town full of culture, opportunity and promise. In its' speed for greed and wealth it has now become the most artificial and superficial place on the planet... a haven for prostitution, slavery and vulgar displays of wealth. It makes 'sun city' look real! Prostitution is so rife, in this so called 'Muslim' country.... The Emiratis and their fellow GCC comrades seem to think any semi-attractive western woman under 40 in Dubai is on the game...
Slavery is rife and the conditions for construction workers are appalling. When you drive past the construction sites they look like the walking dead...

- dubainow

I feel there's a lot of truth in the above comments, since I myself faced the similar situations of dubainow, 7 years ago, which made me more cautious! Recently I visited Sonapur - which has now turned notorious after BBC documentary / report - and was shocked even by the overall state of things! You don't have to even go inside each labour compound - the mere location of the camps (adjacent to a massive graveyard), the dusty and muddy state of roads /approach and even the treatment given by RTA to these hapless laborers (e.g. the twin sheltered bus-stand nearer to emirates Road didn't have ACs) were signals enough for anyn new person to understand the contrasts one is encountering here!

Having lived in this country for so long, and to a large extent indebted to the growth I experienced, I fail to understand why these problems are dealt with a superficial attitude! Isn't it this lackadaisical attitude and the failure to attack these problems giving enough chances to the buzz creators to talk negative again and again?

No matter whatsoever way a community, city or a nation progresses, if the leadership is unable to uplift the bottom-most section of society, there will be increasing chances that sooner or later the economy is going to crumble! It's not only true for Dubai, but also true for all the developing as well as developed world! Similarly, if the people responsible to take control of the "cultural law and order" are not doing enough, soon the sense of security and peace - the two most prized possessions of UAE - will crumble!

Since this is a recession time, activities would far lower due to slower economic growth. Therefore it's the most opportune moment / time to sit back, listen carefully and start finding permanent solutions and acting on them with an iron hand! Go ahead! Stop losing out!

How much skin-show is acceptable in UAE?

We live in UAE, within a melting pot of cultures and communities. Much as we like or hate it's idiosyncracies and problems, UAE does give many of the Expats the opportunities to live their lives in a way they'd perhaps not imagine in their home countries (otherwise they would not have come in the first place!). Thank You is the least we can say perhaps!

One of the things I've never been able to really fathom, is that despite being a Shariah compliant country, it closes it's eyes to many things, which perhaps many similar nations would not! One of these things I've always found unacceptable (though not obnoxious!) is the extent of skin show allowed in the printed materials / media. Even with a new code of conduct to tackle nudity in Dubai, majority of the people thought that the new code of conduct is ridiculous (polled by Kipreport.com)! Particularly, we see that the so-called "health" or "lifestyle" magazines are sprinkled with abundant dose of nudity in different forms, denoting "life" or "health" or "fitness".

Personally I've been tracking one of these magazines in UAE, and thought of posting this question in the UAE Community Blog (image above). I got overwhelmed by the comments / discussions that ensued on this piece, and was amused to see I'm not the only one!

While I'd like to thank all of those who put their hearts in this discussion, I'd like to still keep these questions open:

1. Is it really the "only" way to promote health and lifestyle - regardless of the culture of the land in question?
2. Is it not crass consumerism that's imposed / forced upon, to attract the 90% of the community who DO-NOT follow this kind of lifestyle?
3. Aren't there better ways promote health and lifestyle - stylishly? Or is it the norm of the industry?
4. Is there any other / better / different way to promote HEALTH and LIFESTYLE?

Looking for your responses.

Other Links: Dubai Code of conduct (full version); Dubai Issues List of prohibited public behaviour; Behave Yourself!

7 step Salary negotiation for Dubai newbies

Over the last 2 years, the living costs in Dubai has multiplied - and so have the new job seekers! We all agree that Dubai has a charisma of its own, that attracts scores and scores of career makers, investors, the big-bold-beautiful, and what not!

However, perhaps in between the fast pace the Dubai life has become, all of us overlook the new comers - especially the not so priveleged - who dream of making and sustaining a "better" life than in their native countries.

Keeping them in mind, I had submitted a salary negotiation advice thread in DiscussDubai.com almost 2 years ago! I was amazed last week to see that this discussion page earned the highest number of hits (>7000) among all other topics! Such is the demand of Dubai as a career builder!

For all those who'd like to know the 7 steps for negotiation, here are the suggestions:

1) Unlearn your past experiences / expectations
2) Calculate your basic minimum needs first
3) Adjust with your “lifestyle” expectations
4) Do some homework
5) Always ask for a little more
6) Always get to know the complete package (and more)
7) Do not budge too lower than your expectations

For details on these steps, please Click Here

Many of you'd agree these are just plain simple suggestions - no big deal here! But it's really amazing that even after 2 years I still keep on getting personal messages asking for advice (and I gladly do give the!) before taking decisions.

Hopefully by including the above link on this forum some more people may get some help!

How NOT to be ripped-off while taking a loan

Usually, for every new entrant in Dubai - i.e. one who has got an employment, got an accomodation and a bank account - applying for a personal / car loan is the 2nd most important step towards settling down.All the banks - esp. the MNC banks - know about this quite as well , and are sitting there just to grab you to make a kill! Most often the rate is the currently applicable rate in the country - but offers / add-ons / ripp-offs are all dependent upon who proves the smartest - the bank or you .

This post is all about making you the smarter (well that's how I feel - I might be mistaken).

1) Don't jump on to the very first "lucrative" offer, which is often linked with your credit card - These loans prove to be extremely costly - you tend to pay an extremely high rate of interest if you're not a good personal finance manager!

2) Look for at least 5-6 offers of local as well as MNC banks - Often quoted rates and benefits are better in case of local banks, since the govt. favors these banks to a large extent to make them grow.

3) Look for the "Interest Rate on Reducing Principal" rather than "Simple / Flat Rate" - Regardless of the simple flat rates quoted to you, the former is the process followed by every bank, not only in Dubai, but internationally. This falls under banking process. Hence look for the lowest applicable rate on reducing principal amount.

4) Look for the hidden fees - Often banks say there's zero processing fees. However, they might name it differently, saying that you' have to pay just X% as documentation charges. Clarify what other charges are applicable - esp. in case of banks which tend to offer easy loans and goodies.

5) Try to pay processing / documentation / other charges separately - Often banks are known to be notorious in adding up these charges into the principal, and then apply the interest while calculating the EMI. Logically, I don't see a reason why a customer should pay interests on these at all!!! Usually this charge ranges from 0.5 to 3%. A loan amount of AED 100,000 would therefore have a documentation fee of only AED 3000! If your flat rate is 8%, you'd keep on paying at the rate of AED 10 per month for the whole period of your payment plan - which is attrocious Hence, if you can, delay the first instalment of your EMI, but pay these "hidden" charges separately.

6) Look for the "Early settlement fees" - Often banks tend to have a high rate for early settlement - just to discourage a client to settle accounts earlier than the total period. Usually when a loan is approved and given, the interests charges on monthly basis serve as constant monthly incomes for the banks, which they don't want to let go.

7) Finally, Decide well on your type of loan - When you are new to this country, you might feel cautious not to get into a debt which you cannot handle. While it's necessary to have a car, the same could prove a liability a few months later, if (God Forbid) either you or company decides to let go / move on. If you're very confident of staying the whole period of your payback period in the country, then a Car loan to buy a car proves cheaper. If you feel you might not stay the full period, then a personal loan for the same amount would be helpful.

No one wants to buy a used car with EMI linked to it. Nor you can sell a car with a loan attached to it (practically the car is owned by the bank, not you) The bank too charges an extra fee (other than the Early settlement fee) in case of Car loans when you ask for settlement. A personal loan can be settled early at your own pace, which can be used intelligently in early settlement.

Lastly, you should consult a finance person to check and recheck if the EMI you are paying correctly recalculates the principal you were promised. I was quoted a flat rate of 3.95% on a car loan, with no processing fee. It was after many months I realized that finally, I'm paying 4.33% flat rate. By that time it was too late and all papers I signed, intelligently avoided mention of these finer aspects. Therefore, do find a way to cross check this!! (If you need a reckoner contact me)

Hope after reading the above, you would be doubly careful before taking a loan.
(Photo Courtesy) This blog spot does not have any relation to the photo source.